


Ghosts

by iswawrites



Series: In The Dark [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-07-30
Packaged: 2018-07-27 12:23:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7618000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iswawrites/pseuds/iswawrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She's his gravity, she's the only thing keeping the nighmares away at night and even when they find their way into his tired mind, she's always here when he wakes up, waiting for him to come back to her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo, third part in the In The Dark series , enjoy :)

 

  1. _gravity_




 

He doesn't know how they end up like this, doesn't know how he ends up loving her, how he ends up longing to be near her, by her side all the time. She is sweet, bright, and ressembles a delicate flower, one that he wants to keep it and cherish forever. She's his gravity, she's the only thing keeping the nighmares away at night and even when they find their way into his tired mind, she's always here when he wakes up, waiting for him to come back to her. She calls him James and he loves the sound of his name on her tongue and he smiles because he loves her.

He finds it strange, how easy they can connect , how they only have to look at eachother to know what the other one is thinking, feeling. He finds it strange, and he's never been one to like strange, but he likes it, likes _her_ , and everything that screams her name. And he does, every time they make love, and he feels her shiver when his new metal arm brush her skin, but she doesn't make him stop and he worships her, her soul, her heart, her body, he covers her in colors full of love and passion. They always end up close, bodies intertwined and hearts fusing and he lost himself as she humms sokovian lullabies and he wants to say the three words on his tongue but she's asleep then so he just kisses her eyelids and wishes her goodnight.

 


	2. Chapter 2

ii. _grief_

 

She hates that day, hates knowing that four years ago, on this same day, half of her left the earth. She wakes up in the morning and she feels empty, even more empty than the day he actually died. She gets up, leaves Bucky alone in the sheets and goes to the bathroom. She locks the door – she usually doesn't, she's not scared of being disturbed, she trusts Bucky more than anything, but she needs he loneliness now, needs the quiet. She slides down to the floor, and lets the tear run down her cheeks, as she remembers her brother, alive, and well, and happy, and with her.

 

The feeling doesn't leave her for weeks ; she feels empty, and cold and alone and she pushes everyone away, and she sleeps in Nat's empty room and locks the door. She doesn't talk to Bucky, doesn't let him in, doesn't answer him when he calls for her. She keeps him out of her sorrow and sadness, and prefers to dwell into it on her own. Because he doesn't know her brother, never has met him , he wouldn't understand how great he was, wouldn't know what kind of man he was, the best person she's ever known, the person who's ever loved her and whom she ever loved. He was her person and she was his ; they were twins, they had been one soul split into two separate entities. And no matter how much she tried, she'll never be complete again.

 


	3. Chapter 3

iii. _confessions_

 

Bucky knocks on he door once more ; it's all he's been doing for the past hour. Wanda is locked in Nat's room, like she's been for the past week, Bucky doesn't know why, he tried to ask her but no answer came back to him.

 

“Wanda..”

 

Her name lingers in the air, and he wonders if she can hear him on the other side of the door. There's a fire escape outside the window, and she could have just left but he knows she didn't, he knows because he can still feel her on the other side.

 

“Wanda.. Please open up..”

 

Nothing happens, still, and a sigh leaves his lips. He knows he could just tear the door down in a second, knows he can do it, but he wants her to let him in. He wants her to let her show him her pain, because he knows she's in pain, that she's hurting, and he wishes he could do something about it. He feels so helpless.

 

He slides down against the door and sits down, his forehead agains the wood. He brushes the door with his right arm, feeling the cold surface under his skin.

 

“Wanda.. I don't know what is wrong, and I wish you would trust me enough to tell me what makes you be like this. But I won't push it anymore, I won't ask answers from you. You know why ? Because, love is sharing. And I love you, Wanda, I really do. God, I love you so much... And I want to share things wih you, but only if you want me to as well, only on your own terms, I won't push anything if you don't want to. But I'll wait, love, I'll always be here. I'll wait forever.”

 

He needs to stop, to dry the tears falling from his eyes, he needs to compose himself for a minute. The words are out of his mouh before he can process them, and yet they're all true.

 

“And I'm sorry, if it's something that I did, just so you know, I didn't mean to, I never did. All I am trying to do is to protect you , and even if you don't want me around, I still will, because I love you, Wanda. I really do love you.”

 

The three words are easy on his tongue, he makes him wonder why he didn't tell them sooner, when she was close to him, face to face, not separated by a wooden door. He stays there, in this unconfortable sitting position but he doesn't want to move, doesn't want to make any movment, in case she might do something and he might miss it if he moves.

After a few minutes, he hears quiet cries, very faint sobs, and his whole body aches at the sound. He feels new tears joining the old ones, but he can't do anything, he's stuck, and this tears him apart more than anything. So he just stays there, breaking with each cries of hers.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**iv**. _dementia_

 

A red halo circles her as she cries and cries. She thought she would have been over it by now, but she's not. She doesn't know why she misses her brother so much , well she does know – he is gone and she is here, without him – but she doesn't know why it breaks her more than the other times. She can't hear Bucky's voice anymore, she thinks maybe he has left ; she hates herself for the way she was acting him, but she couldn't bare to see his face, to see anyone's face. She desperately wants to reach out to him, but she couldn't let herself do that ; she already felt so weak wihout Pietro, and now with Bucky... she didn't want to bring him down in her twisted,misery filled mind.

Wanda. Wanda. Wanda.

She is in a dark room, she can't seen a thing, the air is cold and her bare legs are freezing.

Wanda.Wanda.Wanda.

She turns around to the voice, to his voice, but sees nothing, no one, nothing is to be soon. She calls his name in the dark, cries for him to answer her, but she can't a see a thing, can't hear a thing. She keeps running around in circles, in utter darkness.

_Wanda. Wanda. Wanda._

Suddenly, she doesn't feel anything under her feet, only the air rushing to her ears. She falls and falls and keeps on falling, preparing herself for whatever impact is waiting for her.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**v**. _resurgence_

Bucky wakes up to a _bang_ ; he wasn't really sleeping truth be told, more like resting his tired eyes . His mind kept wandering back to Wanda and the way she kept herself in her own sorrow. His eyes opens at the sound, he hears another one and he doesn't wait any longer to get up and gets out of the room - their room. He runs towards the noise, following more bang-bang-bang- _BANG_ , when it stops suddenly. He pushes away any thought about not knocking down Nat's door – she'll forgive him. He raises his feet and pushes the door open, and he isn't prepared for what he sees. Wanda is turning on herself, spinning like a sewing row, hair stuck to her sweaty forehead, eyes rolled back; the temperature in the room was freezing, it makes him think of Siberia, of Germany, when he was taken as prisoner. But it is not about him now, it isn't about him and what he's been through, no. He takes a step towards her, but something stops him, a red energy field stops him from getting to her, and for the first time, he hates her powers. He tries again, many times, but each and every time, he is pushed back.

“Wanda! Wanda !”

She doesn't answer to his voice, doesn't seem to hear him, and he groaned in frustration. The temperature keeps falling and he tries again to break the field but nothing works, nothing works and he's so scared of what might happen if she doesn't stop this, scared of what is happening right now. All of sudden, everything stops ; she stops spinning and falls to the ground, the red energy field is gone and he jumps to her as she's falling and he catches her in his arms, just before she reaches the floor. She's cold against him and he checks her breathing and god, she's not breathing, and she's cold, freezing, icing cold, as if the life is leaving her and he can't feel her breathing and he's squeezing her and he's crying and he can't see or think straight, all his mind is focused on her and how he's not enough.

"Wanda, please, wake up !"

He gets her secure in his arms before he rises and runs towards the bathroom. He gets into the tub, with Wanda still in his arms. He keeps whispering her name, hoping for, pleading for, begging for an answer. He opens the water and it's warm and he hopes that the shock, the contrast of temperatures, will be enough to wake her up. He shakes her gently, he can feel her skin warming up, and he prays, and prays harder for her to come back to him. She whines and then she's coughing and she's freaking out and starts screaming so he just wraps his arms around her, keeping her close.

" Hey it's alright, I am right here with you, I am right here with you, I am right here, it's okay.."

And she's crying, and he doesn't know why so he tightens his grip on her and he hopes that this is enough.


	6. Chapter 6

**vi**. _home_

 

Wanda finishes buttoning her dress and sighs, her eyes rising to her reflection in the mirror. The skin under her eyes is a mix of red and purple - fatigue and tears -, her skin is dry - she hasn't eaten in days and she is so pale -the curtains in Nat's room were always closed.

_Who are you_ , she thinks.

The reflection keeps staring at her, sad green eyes with no answer, she waits; what, she doesn't know, but she tells herself that there's something coming.

The knock on the door makes her jump -and when did she become so jumpy, so scared, so paranoid of everything ? She breathes a couple of times, and turns to the door.

“Yes ?”

“Hey.. “ Bucky's voice is hesitant, with a hint of fear, and she knows he's scared of her.

She doesn't say anything, just waits for him to speak again.

“ I made you tea.. If you want some. “

“ Okay..”

It's all she can say, all she can get herself to say, it's not like her to not speak to him clearly, she's usually so open, so out with her emotions when she's with him.She is always so open, so bright, so alive when she's with him. It took her some time to understand, but when she did, it was too late, and she already loved him too much to back away. 

She breathes deeply before opening the door; he's not standing right in front of her and she's thankful for it, he's only a few steps away, near her bed and his fingers seem shaky and she thinks it's her fault. She stays there, in the door frame; it's precaution, in case he does something and she'd need to run away again.

“ I'm very tired.” She says sternly.

He nods, but doesn't move. She wants him to leave though, she wants him to leave though, so she can cry more and pity herself. She walks towards her bed, and sighs innerly before lying down, adjusting a few pillows. She turns to him and he's staring at her, a few strand of hair falling in front of his eyes, and it brings her back to a couple of months ago, when they had just moved in the flats and they had just started to get to know eachother ; when there was still hesitation and apprehension in the air between them.

“Wanda.. Something is wrong.” He speaks up. “Something happened and.. You're changing, towards me and I don't know if it's something I did, but I.. I want you to know that I will never let anything or anyone hurt you. You mean the world to me and I.. I really thought I lost you back there.”

She hurts at his words, she doesn't remember what happened, all of it being a blur, but she remembers waking up in the bathtub, Bucky's arms around her and his sobs and pleas echoing in the room.

Extending her hand, reaching out to him, she asks for him to come; he doesn't need to be asked twice, he climbs over the end of the bed, and gets to her in no time. She takes his face between her hands, and looks, looks at him like it's the first time she sees him. She takes him all in, wanting to remember this moment forever ; he has tear-stained cheeks and his eyes are sad, but he's here and he's alive and he's with her, and he didn't leave. He could have left her, he could have just left, thinking she's not worth all the crap she's putting him through after all, but he didn't. He stayed, for her, and she can't really believe he did ; all her life, she had people who only left, sometimes on their own terms, sometimes not. But he is still here, with her, raw between her soft hands and he's kissing her palms and she reaches for a kiss and he indulges and she's happy he's here. She buries her face in his neck after they lay together, and takes in his perfume. She loves it so much, fresh-cutted grass, the rain in the corn fields in Sokovia. And home.


	7. Chapter 7

**vii**. _pernoctation_

 

Bucky is running his fingers through her hair, his eyes lost in hers, as she is looking at him ; just looking, not staring, he finds her gaze soft and gentle and it seems as if she is slowly falling asleep but was fighting it back. They spent hours in bed, in the comfort of eachother's presence, he has her perfurme mesmerized again and she knows the maps that his veins trace by heart. He leans in and places a soft kiss on her forehead, to which she humms.

 

“You can go to sleep if you're tired.” He whispers against her lips.

 

Instantly, her gaze shifts ; what was soft and gentle and sweet turns into scared, afraid, _terrified_. He grabs her hands and rubs them with his ; she did this for him , months ago, when he had a violent nightmare and almost chocked her to death – he hates himself for it, hates that one part of him could hurt her - and it helped him calm down and he was scared and afraid and terrified and he could still see his victims's eyes and he could still hear their screams. It comes back to him sometimes, the flashes never leave, they're just hidden away somewhere in his mind.

 

“What if..” and she's on the verge of crying and his heart breaks knowing she's scared. “ Wha if ..I do something while I'm asleep ? I don't want to..”

 

“Hey, you won't” He says and he tries to make his voice as gentle as possible. “ Nothing is going o happen because you're strong, okay ? I know it's going to be hard, but it'll take time. It's all going to be okay..”

 

He doesn't know if his words are true, but right now, he needs to believe they are, needs to believe everything is going to be alright. He doesn't want to force her, doesn't want her to do anything unless she's comfortable with it, and he hopes she trusts him enough to believe him.

 

“It's just ...” she takes a deep breath and closes her eyes and he waits, waits for her to continue. “ I could hear him.. I could hear his voice and .. he's dead , he's _dead_ and I'm _here_ , and I feel so guilty because I get to survive and he didn't and I miss him so much.”

 

And she breaks, she breaks down in his arms, and he holds her close and cries wih her and for a while the room echoes with cries and sobs and sighs. He knows about her brother, he can still remember the times he was in Wakanda, locked away in the cyro and she would spend nights telling him about her brother, and that's why he's hurting because he knows, just knows how much Pietro means to her. They were twins after all, and he has memories of seeing twins back in his days, when he was just a nerdy little kid and he always found them interesting. He would have liked knowing Pietro, would have loved knowing the other half of the woman he loves so much, but life had other plans.

 

“Love, I know, it hurts, and it's probably always going to hurt, but you know what ? You don't have to go through all of the pain alone now, you have me, I'm here for you, for anything. I love you, and I am never going to leave you. Never.”

 

Her sobs die down, and he holds her a bit closer to him, bringing his lips to her hair. She doesn't answer him but he can feel her calming down, her body stops shaking and she's regaining a normal breathing and he rubs his hands down her back. He doesn't stop, he just runs his hand up and down her back, keeping her close to him.

 

He's almost asleep when he hears it, the four little words out of her lips in a whisper, ephemere , gone in an instant but he keeps repeating them in his mind. And all idea of sleep is forgotten as the four words keeps him, and he just lies there, watching her, his love, his little flower, sleep. And he knows now for sure that he'll never leave. He can't, she's too important, and perhaps it's bad to make someone your whole world but it's her and he'll kill himself if she asks, but he knows she won't ask him such a thing. She's too good, too pure, too nice and she promised him once to not use her powers against him. And he hopes the four words whispered in the middle of the night is a proof of that promise.

 

_I love you James._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so, It's rather short of a story but yeh, let me know what you guys think ! I have other fictions coming soon ( aka as soon as I get the time o properly sit down and write ). Take care xx


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